Keeping the details of your marriage between you and your spouse is key to a successful marriage. This includes parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, EVERYONE. Your marriage is between you and your spouse and no one else!
In a marriage, you become one with your spouse. Yes, you did indeed take on another family, however, that's another blog! When you took your vows, the two joined and became one. The good book tells us; in Mark 10:8-9 NLT, "and the two are united into one since they are no longer two but one. Let no one split apart what God has joined together." It is important to ensure your marriage matters stay between you and your spouse. Your family can be super awesome, supportive and can bring you necessary support when needed, however, a family can also break up a marriage whether it is intentional or not.
A couple can have a disagreement, and shares this with a family member, and now that member is upset with your spouse about the situation. The two of you talk about the situation, have kissed and made up, but now that relative is still salty about what happened. And don't you dear let another disagreement happen, it will bring back every other one! If a conflict arises within your marriage, and you truly need a listening ear, please seek a professional. Help that is in no way related to you or your spouse. This will help you in the long run, trust me!
Tell him EXACTLY what you want and DO NOT assume! Men are programmed to think very differently from women. I mean, they are TOTALLY DIFFERENT CREATURES! Most women are able to pick up clues from a few unspoken words, unfortunately, some men are not programmed as such.
If you need him to wash the dishes in the sink, countertop and on the stove. Please detail such, because if you ask him to wash the dishes in the sink, don't be surprised if he does just that. He will totally ignore the dishes anywhere else! This includes dishes around the sink, on the countertop, and on the stove. Please, for your sake and your spouse, state your exact wishes!
Date, date, date! Just because you're married, doesn't mean the fun stops! Continue to date, continue to love each other. My hubby and I schedule date nights once a month. We are blessed to live in close distance to both our parents, therefore dropping off the kids is very easy and convenient for us. We get dressed in separate bathrooms (just for the fun of it), get dressed up, depending on the venue and go out on a date! It's fun and it keeps the fire burning! If you want to take it a step further by getting dressed in different houses and he comes and picks you up, so be it, whatever works! But please, continue to date and don't stop!
Daily I-Love-Yous- It's important for couples to hear the words "I Love You," daily. It not only reassures your love, but it also grows and strengthens your love, and it's just darn good to hear! Your "I love yous" however, doesn't necessarily need to 'always' be verbal. A cute note is also great; ladies tuck a note in the pocket of his work pants, send him cute emojis expressing how much you love him, leave a silly note on his staring wheel. Guys, leave a note in her purse, wrap her lipstick with a cute sticky note. Hearing or reading those words constantly are very important in a marriage or any healthy relationship.
Pause- take time out throughout your day and just pause. Hug each other, hold each other, and just take in each other's smell; embrace the blessing God has given you! We call it "the pause," every day we stop for about 3-5 mins, maybe less, just to hold each other. We hug, we embrace each other, take in each other, and just enjoy each other's space (up-close-and-personal) for that moment. This practice reassures us that whatever our day will look like or was, at that very moment, everything will be ok. It is important to find time to just "pause."
Always greet each other with a kiss and depart with a kiss. To me, this is a sensual way for you greet your spouse. Let it be known, that I'm his and he's mine! We also live in an unpredictable world, so you never know if that might be your last kiss! And always make it SPECIAL!
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